Monday, March 31, 2014

To Whom It May Concern

 



Dear Netflix,

Oh, how you mock my free time. You had me at “Mad Men.” Then I moved on to marathon sessions of “Breaking Bad,” and as of this past weekend, I've completed the second season of “House of Cards.” You have completely ruined me for normal scheduled programming. And while I love your convenience and portability that allows me to take you along on my travels and watch you on my iPad in hotel rooms, you have become an addictive time-suck.  I don't know whether to thank you or curse you.
Best regards,
An Addict Who Needs a New Series


Dear Mother Nature,
I know the customer service representatives in your complaint department are working overtime this year, but I’m running a half marathon in less than two weeks, and I was hoping for 65 degrees and sunny with zero percent chance of precipitation. This cold wind and rain makes it tough to stay motivated.
Much appreciated,
A Runner Getting Psyched for Half Marathon #7

Speaking of running…

 
Dear SELF Magazine,
How about we focus more on encouraging and empowering EVERYONE who makes the effort to live a healthier lifestyle and less on making fun of cancer survivors running marathons in “lame” tutus? I appreciate your public apology and follow-up interview with the woman you belittled, but there's simply no excuse for potentially squashing any potential desire your readers might have to do something as awesome as run a marathon for fear of being self-conscious about how they look doing it. 
Sincerely,
A Proud Tutu’d Runner


Dear Gwyneth Paltrow,

Just stop talking.
Thanks,
A Working Mom Who Wishes You the Best of Luck on Your "Conscious Uncoupling" and Hopes That Having a Bogus Catch Phrase Will Ease the Challenges of Your Already Difficult Celebrity Life

 
Dear Life,

Sometimes I just need a nap.
Yours,
The One in the Middle of that Mommy Sandwich (See Photo Below)







(Psst, Gwyneth. This is what working moms look like at the end of our easy 9-to-5 work days.)


 

2 comments:

  1. Love this! I, too, and a marathon series addict. As someone who is currently going through a divorce, I may have to adopt the phrase "Conscious Uncoupling" to describe my current situation. I mean, if it works for Gwynneth, it can work for me, right?? : )

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh how I love Netflix!!!! :) It's addicting.

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