Thursday, April 26, 2012

Where Were Mil Spouse Bloggers When I Needed Them 10 Years Ago?!

Photo Credit: Google Images


I logged onto Facebook the other day and saw that I had a message on my Riding the Roller Coaster page. It was from a fellow military spouse who had a blog design question. Being the computer dummy that I am, I wasn't able to answer her question.  But she thanked me anyway, adding:


"I LOVE your blog. It has really helped me as we start our journey into the military life."


In the 2 plus years I've been blogging, I've received lots of similar messages.  I've also sent lots of similar messages as I expressed my own appreciation to other military spouse bloggers for telling it like it is, offering advice, making me laugh, making me cry, and sharing thoughts I never knew other mil spouses thought. 


My heart warms when I get messages like these.  It makes me feel good to know that I've helped someone in some small way, that I've given someone something that I was so desperately seeking when I was just starting out as a mil spouse.


During the first few years of my military spousedom, I felt trapped inside my own head.  I didn't know how I felt about the lifestyle.  I was proud of my husband, but there were so many other emotions going on that I felt guilty for feeling because none of the other military spouses I knew voiced the same thoughts.  Throw in a brand new military brat, followed closely by a deployment, followed closely by a PCS, and I felt like I was on a crazy roller coaster.  And I wanted to get off. 


Flash forward a few years later when I decided to start writing a blog.  I had never read a blog before.  I just loved writing, and since I planned to write a book one day, my mother-in-law suggested I start a blog (still thanking you P!).  So I did.  And because I was still hanging on, riding that winding, jolting roller coaster of military life, I figured what better name for my blog.  Riding the Roller Coaster.


It wasn't until I was several weeks into blogging that I discovered the vast world of mil spouse bloggers.  I couldn't believe there were so many of us out there!  So many women sharing their stories and adventures and advice!


And suddenly, I wasn't trapped inside my own head anymore.


I spent hours and days and weeks discovering blog after blog written by military spouses who were going through everything I was going through.  My husband had just deployed for the second time, and unlike the first deployment, I felt a sense of camaraderie, a kind of united front against loneliness, fear, anger, sadness, and every other emotion I was too afraid to admit I was feeling.  It didn't matter that I had never met these women.  It didn't matter what branch our husbands serve in or what their ranks are.  It didn't matter our age or our educational background or where we live or whether or not we have kids.  My husband was gone, but I wasn't alone.  I wasn't riding that roller coaster by myself anymore. 

I often think back to when I first started out as a mil spouse and how I would have loved the kind of guidance I have since found in the blogosphere.  Where were mil spouse bloggers when I needed them 10 years ago?! 

But that doesn't matter anymore.  All that matters is that I found you.  And I'm so thankful to be a part this amazing community.


How did you discover the mil spouse blogging community?  How does reading mil spouse blogs help you hang on while riding this military roller coaster?



11 comments:

  1. So so SOOO true! It IS wonderful to meet, network, and share information through Military Spouse Blogs. I had no idea this niche existed when I started mine almost 3 years ago! All I knew was I adored Pioneer Woman's blog and felt that someone need to share a similar story about Military Life! :) I look forward to reading the stories in the comments on this post! Great topic RC!

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  2. Believe it or not, you were my door to the mil-spouse blogosphere. My husband was prior service when we got married, and then after a year and a half of marriage, in September of 2010 he re-enlisted. I was up late one night a few weeks later, trying to find any info I could on what it was like to be a military wife when I came across your blog and your weekly round-up. When I felt like I was drowning in the unknown and self doubt, you, your humor and honesty saved me. I'm so grateful that I didn't have to wait the ten years you did to find the camaraderie and beautiful united front of mil-spouse bloggers out there! Thank you!!

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  3. When my husband decided he was going to get out of the Marines I think I Google searched some sort of job for Veterans and a Military Spouse Blog came up. Then I started reading tons of them for a few months before starting my own Blog.
    Once my husband decided he was going to join either the Air Force or the Coast Guard that's when I started mine. It was a crazy roller coaster and Blogging definitely helped me. It still helps me now with moving across the country and staying sane in this tiny town.

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  4. I actually found my first Mil spouse blog 6 months ago as I was googling questions about military life and desperately searching for answers. I'm still learning to enjoy the ride but this group of strong women has helped me learn how to laugh on the days that are hard.

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  5. It's an awesome community to be a part of, isn't it? :)

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  6. My husband is retired from the military. How I would have loved blogging back when he was active duty to connect with others, and also to have a picture-diary of our 3 tours overseas!

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  7. I agree 100%. I know for a fact my milspouse experience would be dramatically different if I didn't have my BBs to answer my questions and tell me I'm not crazy. I've made great friends in the community. Immediately having that connection with people from all walks of military life, who instantly accepted me as one of their own, was amazing. It's not always like that "in real life" (although I think the BB life IS real life) so knowing I always have my BBs to back me up is awesome.

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  8. I just started blogging after learning a few fellow military wives blogged. They mentioned how the mil blogging community was so incitement. I decided to take the plunge, and here I am! I've gotten to know some amazing women through blogging.

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  9. I don't know what I would have done during my husband's deployment had I not started blogging and then found this incredible community of milspouse bloggers who knew what I was going through. I had NO support anywhere and to have found it from you all, that really made the difference for me successfully making it through the deployment. Your blog was one of the very first ones that I read and through the "Weekly Roundup" I found so many other wonderful ladies to connect with that I now consider to be very close friends, even though I have never met them! I probably have never thanked you for that :) So thank you!! I am so grateful for all of the wonderful bloggers in the Milspouse community - what an awesome place to belong :)

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  10. SO TRUE! Where were all you guys 20 years ago? I actually had wonderful connections with wives when my husband was on submarines and then again when I lived on a military base. The camaraderie and being able to speak about our common experiences was so helpful. When I lived out in town and my husband deployed, I lost that connection. Boy oh boy would I have loved to know about Military Spouse bloggers. You guys are fantastic!

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  11. Unfortunately, I discovered the milspouse blogging world because a person stationed with my husband in Afghanistan was killed and his wife back home had started a blog and I had gotten the link from a support page for the unit. Then off of that, I discovered more. And more! Not long after that my husband's second enlistment ended and he was out and I am no longer a milspouse, but I still love the mil blogs because it is still something I have in common with these ladies and I definitely miss a part of the lifestyle.

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