Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Top 10 Reasons I'm Not the Cool Mom on Halloween

I'd like to think I'm a cool mom.  But at times like Halloween, I'm sadly reminded how NOT cool I really am. 


Top 10 Reasons I'm Not the Cool Mom on Halloween


10)  I allowed my kids to have a whopping 3 pieces of Halloween candy when they got home from trick-or-treating.  When I was a kid, I remember eating candy until I felt sick.  Not my kids.  Three pieces and straight to bed.  Plus, if they still have candy in 2 weeks (which they surely will considering how small their daily ration of candy will be), I'll be hiding it.  Last year, we all totally forgot about it until I found the stash at Christmastime and tossed it.


9)  I don't buy all the cute Halloween shirts and socks and hair accessories and jewelry that all the cool kids wear throughout the month of October.  We each have exactly 1 Halloween shirt that we wear once a week until Halloween.  That's it.


8)  I don't put together cute little Halloween goody bags for my kids to distribute to their friends at school.  Don't they get enough crap when they go trick-or-treating?


7)  I don't decorate my yard.  Yes, I think my neighbors' houses looked really spooky with the tombstones in the grass and skeletons hanging from the tree.  And sure, my kids ask me if we can "look like the other houses."  But until they're old enough to help me put all the decorations out and then clean them up on November 1st, I have no desire to keep up with the Joneses.



6)  To be honest, I'm not so great with indoor decorations either.  My tubs filled with Halloween paraphernalia sat in my family room for 2 weeks before I realized that I better take the contents out before Halloween came and went and I'd be back up on the attic for Thanksgiving decorations.


5)  I never remember to bring water for the kids to drink while they trick-or-treat.  Then when my daughter whines about how thirsty she is, I'm the bad mom who has to tell her that I can't make water magically appear and she has to wait until we get home.  (But at least she's resourceful.  Last night she walked away from one house with a treat in her bag and a bottle of water in her hand.  Guess she figured they were giving out candy, why not ask for some water too.)


4)  When my kids have Halloween parties at school, I jump on the sign-up list.  But not because I want to be the one bringing homemade cupcakes or pumpkin shaped finger sandwiches.  No, I want the easy ones before someone else takes them!  Candy corns and juices boxes.


3)  I never dress up.  The only reason I had a costume this year is because I needed one for my Halloween 10k. 


2)  I have never put together a creative, homemade costume for either of my children, and I can't imagine that I ever will.  Costume Express is good enough for me.


1) And then there's the story of the pumpkin.  Last week I forgot that I needed a pumpkin to carve with my students.  Mr. Roller Coaster bought us a pumpkin weeks ago, so instead of rushing to the store first thing in the morning before school, I just used ours with the intention of replacing it the next day.  Well, 2 days and 4 stores later, I discover that there's a shortage of pumpkins.  On the morning of Halloween, I decided to try Home Depot.  A nice man said he had one left but he wasn't sure I'd want it.  "You could always carve the other side."  I chuckled when I saw it but I was desperate.  The Roller Coasters are now proud owners of this beautiful pumpkin...

Hey, it's better than no pumpkin at all right?


Are you the cool holiday mom?  Do you go all out for holidays or do the bare minimum?  


12 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness! This post had me cracking up!! I don't have kids, so I was the awkward lady walking around with her friend's kids. But I would like to think that I will be the cool Halloween mom, seeing as Halloween is my FAVORITE holiday. I will definitely drop the ball during Christmas. No doubt!

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  2. This was so funny! I guess I'm not cool either, except that I like to dress up. But not because I'm cool, but because I'm a nerd.

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  3. I don't have kids yet but I will probably be the "cool mom". Besides making clever costumes. I am too lazy for that, they will just have to like what I get them from the store. I already decorate our house and I let kids take handfuls of candy when they come here, but thats only because halloween is my favorite holiday. Mostly because my Husband is gone a lot and it's the less depressing holiday to spend alone :)

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  4. Oh and that pumpkin is F*ing hilarious. I would probably do that also!

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  5. Hahaha! That had me laughing the entire time I was reading, because I am right there with you on every single one of those! Luckily for me, my mom is an amazing seamstress so she takes care of my kids' costumes and I never even think about it!
    This year for some reason I actually got into the pumpkin carving, although I was hating every second of it and silently cussing myself for starting it. But I must say, your pumpkin is way cooler than mine :)

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  6. This is too funny!! I am not the cool mom either ;)

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  7. LOL! I guess I'm a semi-cool mom... however, my daughter's only 1 this year, so I don't have to do school stuff, and I only have 1 costume to make. (Which I never plan on making them, until it's too late to buy any!!)

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  8. i love this.
    im like a halloween grinch. a few people missed my house because i had no decorations. i just dont get it. and i think my dad used the "i can't make water appear magically" when he used to take us out trick or treating.
    i was the person handing out candy and making kids say thank you. and giving the crappy candy to kids who werent dressed up ;)
    i also shut off my lights when my bowl was almost empty so id have some candy leftover.

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  9. I'd like to think I take a moderate approach! If this tells you something, we still have candy in a cupboard from LAST Halloween! Seriously. We do not let him eat a crap ton. I do not like skeleton and freaky type stuff as decorations, and I do have opinions about the goody bags - they get enough treats at this time of year! And yes, I was the mom who brought apple slices to the preschool party. And, I don't like to wear costumes myself. But, I do love the traditions of carving pumpkins and fun indoor decorations and springing for a cute costume for my child (ordered online, not made from scratch for crying out loud)! :)

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  10. Oh I love your points! I know my little one is only 2 and she doesn't understand the holiday yet let alone candy, but we are starting early. We decided to go to events over the weekend and do no Halloween on monday because we didn't want L to have candy and we sure dont need it haha. Awesome that you go running! I love to run, well most days and some days its hard...but I do the races too :) What did you do for your costume? I'm not big on Halloween so we definitely don't decorate, well I only do fall decorations. Anyways, love that I'm not the only strict one hehe.

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  11. #1 was my favorite; it's priceless!

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  12. Kelcey @KidsRankNovember 05, 2011

    I never, ever, ever comment on blogs but this is too funny and really struck a cord with me. Barring the homemade costumes (I went to school for fashion design so if I am not making costumes there is REALLY something wrong) I can check off almost everything on your list! That is too FUUNY!

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