Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Top 10 Wines With Cool Names

Over the weekend Mr. Roller Coaster and I attended a birthday gathering for a friend down the street.  I was in a rotten mood and didn't really feel like throwing together a dish for the pot luck, putting on makeup, and being social with the other guests that I didn't know very well.  In all honesty, I had every intention of using my daughter's post-immunization body aches as an excuse to bow out early. 

And then the host offered me a glass of Mad Housewife chardonnay. 

I stayed at the party for 3 hours and had a wonderful time.  All it took was a silly label on a wine bottle to change my mood and laugh at myself and my own Mad Housewife tendencies.

The next day I started wondering what other crazy named wines are out there.  The wines I drink have pretty boring names.  But after doing a little research I realized I could be having a glass of Frog's Piss or Ass Kisser or The Squid's Fist or Piss a Lot.  How cool would I be if I offered guests a glass of K Syrah or Zin Your Face or Passion Has Red Lips?

So raise your glass to today's top 10 list.  I don't think it even matters how they taste.  I would buy these just for their labels.  Here are my...

Top 10 Wines With Cool Names

10) Fat Bastard

(Because offensive names are so fun)

9)  Royal Bitch

(Because we all have some inner bitch waiting to be uncorked.)

8)  Elephant on a Tightrope

(Because life is a balancing act.  And sometimes you do feel like an elephant on a tightrope.)

7)  Broke Ass Wine

(Because cheap wine is better than no wine at all.)

6)  Naked on Roller Skates

(Because our inner bitch is hanging out with our outrageous and daring side.  But the latter is way more fun.)

5)  Oops

(Because life is a series of Oops.  Why not celebrate them?)

4)  Mommy's Time Out

(Because, well, if you're a mom, you know what I mean.)

3)  Freudian Sip (from Therapy Vineyards...they also make Pink Freud and Freud's Ego and Super Ego!)

(Because the psychologist in me thinks Sigmund Freud is positively fascinating.)

2)  Old Fart (and Old Fart's Wife)

(Because one day Mr. Roller Coaster will be an Old Fart and I will be Old Fart's Wife.  Side note: Probably best not to mix Old Fart and Naked on Roller Skates.  Can't imagine that would be a very pretty sight.)

1)  Mad Housewife


(Because it's impossible to be a mad housewife after a couple glasses of Mad Housewife.  Thanks for introducing me to the silly side of wine girlfriend.)

What are you favorite wines?  Would you buy and/or serve a wine just because of the comedic value of its name?



  1. These are hilarious! I'm not a drinker - but if I was I would buy these (and serve them) just because of the name!

  2. I ALWAYS buy wine because of their names! I haven't seen a few of these, I'll have to look for them :)

  3. My husband loves Fat Bastard a) because of the name and b) because it good. I would definitely serve a wine for the label.

    Two I like are the Project Happiness Chardonnay that has a big yellow happy face on it and Benefactor Cellars that has "Day of the Dead" designs that would be fun for Halloween.

  4. I think 7 Deadly Zins is kinda fun to drink. ;-)

    If you're ever bored, go into Trader Joe's and just check out the wines & their names. You'll find some fun (and inexpensive!) wines and maybe discover something new that you really like.

  5. I'm a big wine drinker and have never heard of any of these! Hilarious!

  6. I love this post! (of course) I havent heard of most of these, but I would definitely be interested in trying them! Once we move back to the States, Ill start hunting.
    Hope you're doing well!


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