Thursday, February 10, 2011

Top 10 Signs That You're a Rookie Mom

It's Thursday, which means another week of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop!   And because I love making top 10 lists, I decided to use one of Mama Kat's prompts to write a Thursday edition of Top 10 Tuesday.

Mama's Losin' It

 
It's not easy being a mom, especially a new mom.  We'd all like to think that our maternal instincts will kick in the second our babies pop out of the womb and that we'll raise the perfect child.  But those are dreams of the rookie mom. Eventually we live and we learn from those rookie mistakes, and at some point we figure out that motherhood, for better or for worse,  isn't what we thought it would be.  
 
 
Here are my...
 

Top 10 Signs That You're a Rookie Mom
{And yes, I am guilty of every single one of these.)

 
10) You think you’re going to bounce back to your pre-baby weight as quickly as all those celebrities who have at their beck and call a team of personal trainers, nutritionists, chefs, massage therapists, and nannies.


9) You immediately gasp and jump every time your child stumbles or bumps her head.

 
8) You adamantly refuse to use your television as a baby-sitter even though you haven’t showered in 3 days.
 
7) You buy all those fancy, expensive, and completely unnecessary gadgets, not knowing that a baby will not only survive but live a very fulfilling life without a wipe warmer.  You also spend way too much money on designer outfits that are destined to be ruined after only one wear by explosive diarrhea, vomit, drool, snot, and mashed peas.
 
6) You judge other mothers' parenting styles and blame them for their children's bad behavior.  Because after all, those mothers are doing it all wrong, and you're doing it all right.
 
5) You read every parenting book on the market and attempt to follow every piece of advice even though all of the “experts” contradict each other.
 
4) You feel guilty for not following the advice of said contradicting experts.

3) You think you’re going to make the right decision in every parenting situation.
 
2) You still hold out hope that one day you’ll get a full night of uninterrupted sleep.
 
1) It never occurred to you that your child wouldn’t be the most beautiful, intelligent, athletic, well-behaved, well-rounded, precocious child that ever walked this earth.  But be reassured that once you realize they're not perfect, you'll discover that moms love their kids not in spite of their imperfections, but because of them.  Just as our kids love us for ours.






If you're interested in joining Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, here are this week's prompts:

1.) A lecture you still remember.
2.) You know you’re a rookie mom when you…
3.) A poem for your special Valentine.
4.) Share a photo that captures special Valentine(s).
5.) Read the following quote and respond: “Sometimes you have to break the rules around you to keep the rules within you” -Martha Beck O Magazine
 

14 comments:

  1. Super list - also guilty of most of them!

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  2. Hehe, the TV comment made me laugh! I think I'd be a horrible parent, I'm sure I'd have a TV in every room as a babysitter!

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  3. What a great list. I totally used to run to my child with each little bump but that got old, real fast.

    Life is hard, better to toughen them up. :)

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  4. I like your list! I pray that #10 is true b/c my teenage daughter, for example, is not very fond of my many imperfections, including my refusal to acquire fashionable handbags and my insistence of taking pictures (in public) of all kinds of odd things (and people) because they have blog potential. Oh well! Maybe she's that way because she was a child of a rookie parent once.....

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  5. Love the list. It's so true. I cried the first time little man bumped his hard enough to cry. Luckily my mom was there to tell me to buck up. I guess we all have a new mom learning curve ;)

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  6. It's really ok to bend the rules for #8. The TV is great for when I need to finish cleaning the house.

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  7. Haha, I love it. Although, I have to share a story. Consider it the opposite extreme of #9:

    I was at a spouse function the other day and a lady left her (firstborn) 4 month old sitting up in a chair unsupported. Predictably, he took a 2-ft header to a hard floor and started screaming bloody murder. She laughed and picked him up and said, "Oh, you're fine, you're just a little shocked." ?!?!?!?!

    Granted, I don't have kids, but I don't think that was a "pro" move.

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  8. Oh yes, we are kin! The matchy mmatchy baby gear is a dead giveaway too!

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  9. Ahhh, so true! Another good list to show my pregnant friends :)

    Visiting from Mama Kat's

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  10. Wow did you come to my house and peek in the window? I am such a rookie Mom. I think the wipe warmer was the first thing on my registry although I don't have it plugged in anymore. Does that mean I am on the road to recovery from NewMommaitis?

    Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by my blog. I hope you have a terrific weekend!

    http://socialstudiesmomma.blogspot.com/

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  11. Absolutely hilarious. Now that I have had my second, I see how ridiculous all those things are that I WAS guilty of doing with my first - LOL! Sorry, rookies, but you too will see one day... ;)

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  12. So true for our first.
    Our second not so much.
    The third...well he eats off the floor, wears his pj's all day and the dog cleans his face.

    (sigh)

    Glad your following from the hop. Hope to see you again - assuming this admission doesn't scare you away.

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